“Even in the darkest phase be it thick or thin, always someone marches brave here beneath my skin.” [K.D. Lang]

Many of you know that I began an amazing journey this past June. I am currently in Yoga Teacher Training at Yoga Birds, a Registered Yoga School with Yoga Alliance (RYS 200) in Fairhope (Alabama). In December, I will receive a Graduation Certificate to submit to the Yoga Alliance to become a Registered Yoga Teacher at the 200 Hour Level (RYT 200). I am ecstatic! This opportunity was an absolute God-send. Not only has it been life-changing, but it has been life-giving, and quite possibly life-saving, as well. I feel honored and blessed beyond measure to be on this path. My gratitude is truly endless.

Last weekend was a “training weekend” (3 days of learning, practicing, and applying). Saturday, we were taking a much-needed coffee break (Yea, Coffee Loft!) after a 3 hour practice that prepared us and allowed us to attempt Eka Pada Galavasana (fancy, right?) ~ or Flying Pigeon :) My yogi friends and I were discussing the “fear factor” that often inhibits our ability to give our bodies permission to relax and release into poses that are seemingly more difficult or “dangerous” (keeping in mind that we – as humans – formulate our own thoughts, opinions, and labels regarding what is or is not “safe” for us at any given time). At one point in our discussion, I stated that I don’t remember ever feeling fearful of trying a specific yoga pose… And as the words left my mouth and entered my own ears, I had a personal “Ah-Ha!” moment.

In general, I have always been (and continue to be) a very fearful, careful, cautious, girl. More often than not, I function out of fear (most commonly my fear of failure). This is clearly not ideal; yet, it is familiar. Throughout my life, fear has motivated me to succeed and achieve, but it has also inhibited my ability to enjoy – or even recognize – my success. So… the “Ah-Ha!” moment occurred when I realized, in spite of my perpetually shaky knees in “life,” I am fearless on my yoga mat! I have fallen on my face, my head, my back… I even have bloody yoga toes (SO gross!!!!!), but I am not afraid.

The moment I step onto my mat (a fabulous new eKO from Manduka), I see glimpses of an Amanda I never knew existed. I find the ability to breathe. I feel confident and safe. I lose my preoccupation with wondering whether others are judging - or even watching – me. I become attentive, intentional, and mindful. I hear – and listen to – the sound of my own heartbeat. I stop harmful thoughts dead in their tracks, and replace them with inward expressions of gratitude for a body that allows me to move freely. I stand firmly on TWO feet, and praise God for the miracle of stability. On my mat, I feel whole. I feel the balance of effort and ease… and I live in the moment.

The trick is to take the lessons I learn ON the mat and apply them in the “real world”. I have been working toward this objective (see the Project [v. pruh-jekt] POSITIVITY Project [n. proj-ekt] post 7.27.10.), but it is always a work in progress. Yoga is a way of life that creates liberation, freedom, and deliverance from the things that hold us back (the practice of “non-attachment” – Yoga Sutras of Patanjali – 1.12).

This week, I will be taking a closer look at my attachment to FEAR… taking note of the ways in which it diminishes my light. I will seek to create room for expansion and transformation, and I will continue to thank God for the challenges in and around the journey… “in yoga, as in life” (Augusta Kantra).

Love & Peace,
aeb :)